This is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day Christ.  Philippians 1:9-10

It was 1:10 p.m. in a Starbucks when I finally opened my Lysa Terkeurst, daily devotional: Embraced.  Day 5: Is This The Right Decision? These are the first words I read. Just moments before, I spent thirty minutes crying at the soccer field in front of everyone, on the shoulder of a woman from church as she prayed for God to give me and my husband wisdom for this next journey of parenting we would embark on.  We can enjoy the funny mom blogs from women who are navigating the early years of parenting chaos, but no one makes funny blogs about the teenage years.  No one talks about those moments when you feel like you have failed completely.  When you have no idea what to do, but you know in your heart all you can do is pray and press in.

When I read the verse laid out for me, Philippians 1:9-10, the words leaped out at me, because I knew this verse.. There it was, the words I needed to move forward. It was hidden in my heart, but I couldn’t find it, because I allowed fear and my own strength to be what I was leaning on, instead of God. I panicked before I prayed. God was waiting for me, to come to him so he could give me the wisdom and leading I needed.

Let’s look at the verse and the language in it.

Knowledge: the sum of what is known : the body of truth, information, and principles acquired by humankind. (Merriam-Webster Dictionary) Knowledge is the wisdom that comes from acquiring truth. (Lysa Terkeurst, Embraced pg17) The only way that we can acquire the wisdom we need that comes from truth is by “pressing” into God’s word.

Complacency: self-satisfaction especially when accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies.  When it comes to safety, complacency can be dangerous.  2: an instance of usually unaware or uninformed self-satisfaction. (Merriam-Webster Dictionary)  I check all my good Christian momma boxes and some days I miss one here or there, but for the most part I felt I was winning… More times than not I get caught up in the routine of being the Christian I am supposed to be and I missed the part where it’s a “relationship” and being in a relationship requires me to be intentional.  I love people, I work hard, I pray when I say I will pray and I serve others… What did I miss?  I missed those moments of intentionality and discipline.  I got busy serving and doing “Gods business” and something got sacrificed, even though I missed it… Complacency is a silent killer.  We get too comfortable with our faith and how were are killing it, when really we are missing Satan sneaking up on us.  Even when I pray my armor on; Ephesians 6:10-18.  

It’s not about trusting ourselves.  Rather, it’s about trusting the Holy Spirit to do what Jesus promised us in John 14:26: “The Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. (Lysa Terkeurst, Embraced)”  WOW!  There was my neon sign I needed to give me direction.  I don’t trust myself right now to make the best decisions for my kiddos.  The thoughts that linger in my mind and on my heart are: “you already failed, you made one bad decision for your kiddo after another, you’re no good at this, give up…”  Well, this is when I stand up and say, “Satan get behind me!” No more will I allow my thoughts to rob me of God’s truth and the HOPE that is instilled in his promises.  God chose us to be their parents.  He chose Tim and I to steward these kiddos together, therefore, he will equip us.  What is required of us is to be intentional about doing  those disciplines that is needed to acquire the knowledge and insight of truth to equip us to make God-honoring decisions. I can’t make God-honoring decisions when I am allowing worry and fear to monopolize my thoughts and decision making. When I choose to lean on my own understanding of my circumstances, is when I take my eyes off him. That is when I feel most hopeless.

Dear Lord, I want to thank you for the precious gift of children.  Thank you for choosing us to steward and love them. I thank you for their precious lives.  Lord, help us to see this situation through faith covered lenses and not lenses of the world. I thank you for this opportunity to press in and weather the storm with you.  I want to make decisions that honor You.  Father, guide us as we develop  trustworthy discernment. In your name we pray, Amen.

Resources – Embraced by Lysa Terkeurst